Category: Hilarious moments in science communication

Classics of (mis)communication in science…

Get ready for the God particle (or maybe not)

Oh boy, oh boy. Just when I was getting excited… Here’s another really good one. Have a look at the headline, and then how things get watered down, piece by piece, paragraph by paragraph.
This comes from the source:
(I quote below… Emphasis in blue comes, of course, from me…)

APNewsBreak: Proof of ‘God particle’ found

By JOHN HEILPRIN, Associated Press

GENEVA (AP) — Scientists working at the world’s biggest atom smasher plan to announce Wednesday that they have gathered enough evidence to show that the long-sought “God particle” answering fundamental questions about the universe almost certainly does exist.

But after decades of work and billions of dollars spent, researchers at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, aren’t quite ready to say they’ve “discovered” the particle.

Instead, experts familiar with the research at CERN’s vast complex on the Swiss-French border say that the massive data they have obtained will essentially show the footprint of the key particle known as the Higgs boson — all but proving it exists — but doesn’t allow them to say it has actually been glimpsed.

It appears to be a fine distinction.

Senior CERN scientists say that the two independent teams of physicists who plan to present their work at CERN’s vast complex on the Swiss-French border on July 4 are about as close as you can get to a discovery without actually calling it one.

* * * *

Get on the hype bandwagon, guys! First call something “God whatever,” then announce in flashy headlines that you’ve found it, and then we discover that the discovery hasn’t really been announced yet, and then we find that when it will be announced, we may not know whether it has actually been discovered or not…

My head spins.

Eugene, a ghost with a sense of irony

All right, this isn’t strictly science communication, although some people would certainly like it to be…

Here’s a lovely piece about a haunted library in… you guessed it!   Tennessee… Here are some ghosts with a real sense of irony…

The link:

http://timesfreepress.com/news/2012/jun/30/haunted-books-paranormal-activity-cited-chattan/

Once again, the blue parts are my emphasis, and my comments are in parentheses…

Haunted books: Paranormal activity cited at Chattanooga Public Library

On March 17, the Global Paranormal Society and members of the library conducted a full-on paranormal research of the downtown library at 1001 Broad St. On Friday, they shared their results from the investigation and confirmed what so many people assumed: paranormal activity takes place at the library.

“But,” added society member Gabriel Kordics during his presentation, “there’s not enough to make it haunted. I’m sorry.”

“That’s only one investigation, though,” Kordics said afterward. “This place deserves more than one investigation.”

About 30 people sat in the library’s auditorium Friday as Kordics and his crew presented their results. He first gave a history of the area, saying that the library currently sits on part of what was once a Cherokee nation settlement, explaining the possible roots of the specter that library employees refer to as “Eugene.”

(Note: Eugene being a typically Cherokee name)

Spooky happenings were evidently afoot that one night in March. The investigation captured 68 Electronic Voice Phenomena recordings, seven personal experiences and a couple of loud bangs in the second-floor children’s area and fourth floor.

(GEE! Loud bangs from the children’s area!)

“It was a long investigation,” investigator John “Taz” Ramsey said. “It took about eight or nine hours. It’s pure excitement.”

Kordics played some of the captured EVP recordings. Using high-tech implements allows the Global Paranormal Society, based out of Cleveland, Tenn., to pick up frequencies and sounds that can’t be heard by the human ear — what he said was the sounds of spirits coming through.

As if librarian Della Phipps wasn’t freaked out enough at the prospect of her place of employment being haunted, the EVP clip that played a phantom, female voice saying, “I got you,” did the trick.

“I got chills every time I heard that one,” Phipps said.

BUT SHE DIDN’t “GET IT…” oh my oh my oh my…

Note: this piece is attributed to the author Adam POULISSE… Should that be pronounced puhlll-eeease???

A bit of confusion: astronomy, astrology, and Health Care

This comes from an article entitled, “Did NASA Unearth Life and a Hidden Ocean on Saturn’s Moon Titan?” published at:

http://summit.patch.com/articles/did-nasa-unearth-life-and-a-hidden-ocean-on-saturns-moon-titan#photo-10520552

NASA announced a few days ago that the Cassini spacecraft had made measurements of changes in Titan’s shape as it orbited Saturn, which they interpreted to mean that a huge underground ocean on the moon was undergoing tidal shifts due to the pull of the planet’s gravity. 

The whole article is worth reading due to its bizarre mix of science and… something. Here are the highlights:

From the article:

“Cassini’s detection of large tides on Titan leads to the almost inescapable conclusion that there is a hidden ocean at depth,” said Luciano Iess, the lead author of the report and a Cassini team member at the Sapienza University of Rome, Italy in a news release issued by NASA.

Donna Stellhorn, an astrologer from somewhere (presumably the Earth), reached the following conclusions:

“From an astrological point of view this discovery signals that we should be asking ourselves is: ‘where do we need to stretch ourselves’ to gain what we want?”

and

“Saturn in Libra brings us a strong sense of duty and obligation to others whether they be friends or the community at large (hence the passing of the Affordable Care Act),” she said. “But Saturn in Libra can also make us inhibited around others, we want to guard and protect ourselves from potential danger and ridicule.”

and

Saturn will leave Libra around October 5 and “as he leaves he will take something from each of us; a friendship or relationship may end, your career may shift, or an opportunity may escape you.”

Gotta keep our eyes on those NASA satellites, eh? Never has it been clearer that space data can guide our lives, telling us how to vote and when to end relationships…

Circular definitions

From an early incarnation of the website:

http://www.sysbio.de

What is Systems Biology?

The emerging area of systems biology is a whole-istic approach to understanding biology.

It aims at system-level understanding of biology, and to understand biological systems as a system.

What was that rule we learned in grade school? When you’re defining a word or term, avoid using the word itself in the definition? (Thanks, Mrs. Thomas!)

“Alien life certain to exist…”

Excerpts from news stories about life on a newly discovered exoplanet:

Sept. 30, 2010

Alien life certain to exist on Earth-like plant, scientists say

The chances of alien life existing on a newly-discovered Earth-like planet are 100 per cent, an astronomer has claimed.

 

Gliese 581g was discovered orbiting a nearby star at a distance that places it squarely in the “habitable zone” where liquid could exist on its surface…

It is as yet unknown whether water does exist on the planet or what kind of atmosphere it has. But because conditions are ideal for liquid, which is always a precursor for life on Earth, Prof. Vogt believes that life will undoubtedly have begun there.

“Personally, given the ubiquity and propensity of life to flourish wherever it can, I would say, my own personal feeling is that the chances of life on this planet are 100 percent,” he said during a press briefing. “I have almost no doubt about it.”

 

Nov. 1, 2010

Bye bye to a Lovely Planet

The planet Gliese 581g may be a chimera.

A new analysis by astronomer Michel Mayor and his Swiss team suggests that Gliese 581g is… a planet conjured into existence by other researchers’ fautly interpretations of noisy data.